Last Thursday, my old school celebrated the end of the school year and the arrival of summer and the end of the school year with a "fin de curso" performance. Of course I went there to support my ex-classmates. They all danced beautifully and came out exhausted from the effort, but happy and proud of themselves of having pulled through. I thought hey did an amazing job with their performance and I was very happy for them.
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| Alumnos y profesores del Centro de Arte Sevilla, photo by John Flury. |
It was not quite easy for me to sit and watch, but it was necessary. I felt a slight twinge of regret of not having completed the year... but when I really think about it, leaving the school was the best thing I could do. This year could not have gone better for me, because it helped me find my creativity again. And most of all, I found out what I REALLY want in life: I want to work with food, cooking and baking. This is what I'm supposed to be doing.
So that's what I've been doing the past few weeks, even if just for John and myself: Cooking yummy meals.
But last night was special... I had some friends over to watch the Eurocup final and decided to make something extra special: Vietnamese spring rolls! My good friend Lindsey came over to help and we had lots of fun and success making them:
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| Crispy vietnamese spring rolls |
And of course, no party is complete without a cake:
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| White layer rose cake with fluffy chocolate frosting |
Flamenco-wise, I'm not sure how to keep going during the two weeks I have left here. In the last few weeks I practiced every day... with school now closed, I've lost my practice space. The weather is very hot here so it takes discipline to practice... though it feels good to have your bones heated to the core and sweating buckets of water during training!
I'm in a strange space with my dancing at the moment. I feel stuck in a dead-end. I did not find what I was looking for in Sevilla. I tried so very hard to fit the mould of a traditional flamenco dancer, but that it not me. That's why I had to quit my school. I'm still trying to figure out what kind of dancer I am. But I'll probably discover that through dancing, and less through thinking!
What ultimately attracts me about flamenco (aside from the music and the aesthetics of dance) are the amazing energies that can arise from sharing a stage and making music with good people. When a guitarist, a singer and a dancer get together on the same level, incredible things can happen.
Unfortunately, due to the high level of professionals here in Sevilla, and the huge competition, things don't often work that way. I have seen many shows with bored performers, who were just there for the money or who were doing their stage partners a favor. Such performances are bland and left me completely uninspired. It seems that to get into the local flamenco scene, at least as a newcomer, one has to deal with such circumstances. I am definitely not ready to do that... this goes against my grain as a passionate musician.
I guess in order to progress as a "flamenca" I will just keep pursuing that goal... to one day find "my people" I'm able to collaborate, practice hard, and have fun with. No matter our level of technique or virtuosity. I believe that when performers are at ease on stage and communicating with each other, only then are they able to give something to the audience.
