Good old stress

My body is slowly getting used to the strain. Last weekend I didn't do much - mainly slept and rested at home. On Saturday night I went out with some of the girls from my school, dancers and singers. I have to say we're getting along really well. Very happy about that. We wandered around town, went for churros by the river and hopped over the bridge for a quick sneak peak of Triana. Today I had the day off - it's Día de la Hispanidad, the Spanish national holiday. This is the day Christopher Columbus discovered America. Again we've been chilling with the girls, having coffee and chatting. It feels good to wind down.

There is so much flamenco in Sevilla! There are concerts and shows every night. So different from Granada. We have to be careful about our budgets... it's easy to blow a lot of money here. Yesterday night got to hear Rocío Marquez sing at my school. She is an impressive woman. I heard her in June at home with Leonor Leal. Her voice is mindblowing. She is one of the few singers I wouldn't mind listening to for hours. It was a small recital with an audience of about fifty. It was nice and intimate and she sang some very moving pieces. She seems so calm and grounded; I think she touched every single person in the audience last night. What a treat. In moments like these I realize how lucky I am to be able to live this dream.

Classes this week have seemed a little bit easier. I'm enjoying every single class, from ballet to castanets. The only thing I'm feeling stressed about is I'm not sure how to fit all of the materials into my one hour of practice time I get every day. Ah well, it never gets easier with the 'shoulds'. You cannot leave your problems behind, I'm afraid. So as always, I'm struggling to find a rhythm and a frame of mind in which I don't feel stressed out all the time, because there's so much to do and learn. It's becoming a classic. I was talking to a friend today about social conventions, rules, education and how hard it is to define the exact difference between 'wanting', 'should' and 'must'. The lines are often really fuzzy for me and finding out what I really want is still difficult sometimes. But I keep asking myself all the time. Some things are very clear to me. Some less. Being a perfectionist does not help. One thing I do know: I want be in Spain dancing flamenco and that's exactly what I'm doing. Relax girl!